Thursday, November 18, 2010

Puttin' It Out There

When I moved here five years ago I landed a great position doing something I wasn't qualified to do. How? It's all about connections and who you know, right? I knew the right people and the timing was spot on. I have worked my ass off for five years and I must say I am paid accordingly for it. Now, my hourly pay isn't spectacular but for the area I live in I make pretty decent money, more than most people I know. Hell, I make more than aunt does and she has worked for the school district for almost twenty years.

When Chip moved here four years ago he landed a job with the county doing something he was qualified to do. He knew not a single person outside of my family. No connections. He worked his ass off for a few days and was let go. Not long after that he found another job, one he was also qualified for. Again, let go within a couple of weeks of starting. Both jobs paid...shit, to be quite honest. He attempted to start his own fencing company but the economy took a dive.

Then I got pregnant.

Chip has been the stay at home parent for the past two years, almost three. He is a damn fine daddy.

Yes, I am defending him. Why? Apparently, other people, people who don't even hold down jobs, and haven't for months or years, find fault with Chip. They blame him for not supporting his family. They talk shit about the way we function as a family, about what works for us.

Hayden is not in day care. We are in no rush to put her in day care. We will live the next three years exactly like we are living now and we will be fine with it. If Chip is still a stay at home dad when Hayden starts kindergarten, so be it. If it were me staying home and he had a well paying job people wouldn't think twice about our arrangement. Why is that?

Why is a man looked at like he is less of a man when he stays home with his child? Why do people make rude comments, mumble under their breath? Someone has to take care of the baby. It seems feasible that it would be the parent who cannot find and maintain decent employment.

What also pisses me off is that the people who direct their energy at making Chip feel this big are people who wouldn't make it a week at home with a baby/toddler. Most of them are men. Most women sympathize and would never cast such stones.

There are times that I laugh it off, the bullshit. I can see those times coming to an end. Sick and tired of it, I am. Done, I am.

Chip is a truly passionate daddy. Hayden is a lucky girl. We are lucky that we are in the position that my job allows us to be in. It's hard, damn it's hard, we aren't saving a dime. We are raising our little girl to the best of our ability and we are doing a damn fine job! All the haters can suck a sticky-with-sweat ball sack! And I mean that.

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