Friday, April 30, 2010

Akira Elex Rott: Wreaker of Havoc

Defendant:




Exhibit A:




Exhibit B:




Exhibit C:

Note that 3 straps are missing and only two were found.


Exhibit D:




Akira (Kiki to us) is Chip's all-time favorite bitch. He loved her before he owned her. I can understand why, she is gorgeous, even past her prime, and she throws awesome litters. These facts are evident from a distance. Furthermore, I must say, up close and personal she really is a gentle dog with a tender heart that fits into our family well.

Talk em' up to beat em' down...

Kiki has faults, three of them that I am acutely aware of.
1. She shits and pisses wherever her tender heart desires
2. She chews Hayden's stuffed animals, mine and Hayden's shoes and apparently napkins (see: Exhibit D)
3. She listens for shit, to me anyway

Unfortunately, a trend is developing. I have not a clue how Hayden and I have offended her but she is hell-bent on taking her anger/resentment out on our belongings. I can't recall a single thing of Chip's that has succumbed to the havoc that is Kiki on a seek and destroy mission. Nothing!

Which brings me to my next point...Chip is unfazed by her antics. He couldn't care less what and how much she is demolishing. He can, however, bring it to my attention that "she gave [me] warning after warning." He can do this at 7:15 AM! He can remind me that this is not the first time she has chewed my shit up and that this is all my fault because hey! she's done this before...haven't I learned anything from my mistakes?!

I wonder if he would feel the same way had it been the whisker biscuit off his bow that she all but shredded?
Or his Brinkhaus hat? At this point I know for a fact that I could dismantle said whisker biscuit and leave it inside said hat on the couch right by my scrunchie, wake up the next morning and find his whisker biscuit and hat wrapped in a bow and my scrunchie in her morning dump.

I am bitter and I do not appreciate Chip coming to the defense of some other bitch.

What goes around comes around, he'll get his. See, now I'm taking Kiki's behavior out on him. Funny how that works!



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