Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Blaming the Bitch

Last night the three of us were sitting comfortably on the couch. Hayden was actually laying in the middle of him and I. He was sitting just on the edge of the couch. He let one rip. Hayden paid it no mind, I don't think she heard it. Before I could reem him a new one she popped her head up and said, "Poop!" She then jumped down from the couch and bent over to where she was almost touching the floor and pointed furiously at some random spot on the tile. (I wish I could say this was odd behavior, but no.) So, she heads over to the door, opens it half way, bends at the waist and yells (in her little voice) Kiki, Kiki.

Go figure!

Gah! I wish I had some things on video. We laughed damn hard at this and yet to retell it, well, it just doesn't do it justice.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Smile Wazowski

My best friend Carrie once stated that Hayden looked like one of the Monsters, Inc. characters. I'd bet my left eye (it's my bad one) that she was referring to Mike Wazowski (re: teeth).

Monday, November 16, 2009

Like Mama, Only Better

My sister has a name for me. One that she tends to use when I break out a kickin' ensemble to go along with my sunny attitude. Personally, I think stripes, polka-dots, boots and jackets, oh, and plaid pants with monkeys on them are sweet...and perfectly Gertie. It appears I have passed down this gift, check it!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Smart and Funny

Simple things like this blow my mind. They really do.

Last night while sitting at the table with Hayden I realized something that perhaps she has known for quite some time...or maybe not, her language is in the explosive category as of late.

She says:
belly button
birdie (it is what it is, what do you call it)
eyes (her favorite)
...and points to each of them.

She also:
moos like a cow
roars like a lion (this shit is so cute it is sickening)
meows like a cat
barks like a dog
neighs like a horse
quacks like a duck
...and can correctly identify the animal that makes each sound.

Last week, I taught her to smile on command. HOLY SHIT! It is the most hilarious thing I have seen in a long ass time, and it never gets old. That's saying something. Hopefully, the little turd will allow me to snap a picture of said command in action. Don't count on it and you won't be disappointed. You know, lower your expectations and you might be pleasantly surprised. Works for me, on occasion.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


A few nights ago I noticed that our couch had several green rubs on it. Hmmm...

Last night I noticed Hayden eating toting a Peanut M&M. Hmmm...

The little stinker licked all the candy coating off the outside of the M&M and carried it around with her for an hour before finally eating it. If only she exhibited that patience during supper, bath time, while getting strapped into the car seat, putting clothes on, you see where this is going.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Up and out by 6:15. It was raining, and hard. We managed to drop Hayden off at Sandy's at the designated time of 7:15. This left us two hours and thirty minutes to get to Bryson City, NC in time for our 9:45 appointment.

We made the two and a half hour drive a three hour and fifteen minute drive. The extra forty five minutes was spent passing our destination, turning around, passing it again and turning around again, we're good like that. Nothing like showing up late somewhere and walking in to find four strangers standing there with their thumbs up their asses because hey! they can't go anywhere until the entire group shows up.

Regardless of the rain, the back and forth and the sneers we pretended not to notice, we zipped right along and had a fucking blast, in the rain, let us not forget the rain!

Three hours later we were back in the car heading home. This time around we made the drive in two and a half hours, as we should have. The rain let up about half way back, somewhere around Ellijay.

And no, this adventure is NOT the reason we didn't make it out and about trick or treating with Hayden. Although, now that I think about it, it may have had a little something to do with it. The rain on the other hand, buzz kill, for sure.

We went here: Nantahala Gorge Canopy Tours located in the Nantahala Forest in western North Carolina...very cool!!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Halloween 2009

Behold, our $4 pumpkin!

Our $4 pumpkin, carved and looking oh-so-festive!
(Had to do a friendly face, Hayden wasn't feeling the spooky)

Happy Halloween, late.

Our second Halloween with Hayden was very uneventful, to say the least. I tied her mama-made tutu on for all of ten minutes and she twirled around for her daddy. She would have had fun and we would have had candy if we had made it beyond our front porch. We did not and we got away with it. Next year we will probably not be so lucky. This year though I brought the tricks, he brought the treats, she brought the happy...and that was good'nough for us!