Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Chest ~ Lighter

I never intended my last post to be my last, for over one month. It never occured to me that the last post would be short and sweet, the opposite of what the last month has been. Long days, short nights and so not sweet (except for the after hours and weekends). Right now shit revolves around Hayden first, work a close second. I know things will be and it is what it is, I know all that. The consistency of the inconsistency is what I dislike with a passion.

I'm just going to put it out there. Well, here. I do not write anything here that I regret, I honestly think about what I am putting into words here. I want this to be about my family, my life, the simplicity of it really, even when work is getting the best of me. And I feel that it is, that this is about my family, life, living. This space is for my daughter, my mom...me. It is what it is, and that is it. There is nothing unclear here, it's all black and white, very little gray.

As young kids we learn basic (and complex) social skills. We hear phrases as adults that we heard as young children. Words that stick because they are tried and true. I am guilty of going against those tried and true phrases, of not being social, but only rarely. I don't make a practice out of being an asshole or treating others how I do not want to be treated. Do unto others, right? I have said not so nice things when I shouldn't have said anything at all. But, I will say this, I do not speak in lies, I do not make up false statements about others to make myself feel better. I know who I am and I don't feel that I have to prove anything to anyone other than my daughter. To her I am constantly proving my unconditional love, and for me, that is really all that matters.

All of this makes perfect sense to me and it will probably make sense to another, but then again, I could be giving credit where credit isn't due.

Just because a person can speak does not mean he or she has something intelligent to say.

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